Better Christian Marriage
By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye

Ephesians 5:31 KJV
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Nothing is more wonderful than a marriage that is ONE in God and both spouses respect love and treat each other equally and fairly. This is how our Heavenly Father loves us and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Guiding us into all goodness and Godliness in Christ.

I get concerned, because many do not stay ONE after they become married. And instead of being Equally--ONE in Christ, spouses are unequal in Spirit. Many are not on the same page or level together in Christ.When there is only dominance in marriage, there is no way that equality can exist, and  marriage can't be a happy one.

Why unequal when God says, "Two become one"? So with one being dominate, and thinking he is better and not equal to his spouse, does the man think the lady is not the other half that makes a whole in Christ?
Think about it:
You hear men say their wife should OBEY--like he feels he has to demand her to.  When a man becomes demanding, he becomes aggressive, and makes life difficult for the woman to feel close to him. Men sometimes forgets about his responsibility to to be loving to his wife too.  I know I am stepping on some men's toes today but I am only speaking truth.

Some men seem more concerned sometimes about their ego and pride than righteousness, and about how he should act in his own home. AMEN.

Proverbs 14:3
In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.

John 12:43
For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

Thank God not all men stand in ego and pride. Thank God there are TRUE GODLY MEN IN THIS WORLD TODAY! AMEN

Sorry to have to say this but prejudice towards women is becoming old... Prejudice is not what God intends in the marriage or at all. Matter of Fact my Bible says 

Galatians 3:28-29  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

When God says you are ONE He means ONE not one half--so the couple being ONE share hand in hand in being entwined and knit together  in love, respect, uplifting one another too. Not downgrading each other half. 

Think about it. If one spouse puts down the other, they put down themselves. God made it this way. So what you do, affects the other. That is how ONE God made you! 

1 Corinthians 7:31-35
And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.  But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

I know I said this before--I want to point out further that, When the Bible says 'weaker vessel' this does not mean the woman is less of a person. God just knows how tenderhearted woman are. He meant that we are emotional people. He knows her well, he made her! That is why He said that. The Bible says for a man to TREAT HER 'AS UNTO A WEAKER VESSEL'. This didn't say she was not good enough! God wanted men to be sure to understand her and consider her in all things, so he can treat her right, and be tender with her. But men have taken that scripture as that women do not matter much and this is not fair to your other half. Many take a positive thing and turn it into negative in the Word of God. Let me show you. Never use the 'weaker vessel' as a bad way, and it's not used as putting a wife down. Remember that, before you down-grade your wife. GOD FORBID!

Surely God would not make sense at all in this Scripture, if he said to treat women lower and then say honor us.ahaahhaahh that would not make sense at all. So you see how men use 'lower' there instead of 'weaker'. There is quite a difference in the two meanings.

It says to GIVE HONOR TO YOUR WIFE. YOU ARE HEIRS TOGETHER, OF THE GRACE OF LIFE, THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDERED. So therefore, when the Bible says AS UNTO A WEAKER VESSEL it's saying be careful how you treat her......See the responsibility you have to your wife?

God makes it very clear. God is actually saying to you to treat your wife right and honor her so your prayers will be answered. If you do not treat her right, your prayers will be hindered...
That is the whole point in why it is said in scripture about the 'weaker vessel'. Think about it. God is not putting a woman down for he is the one who created her!  Of God wouldn't put her down. Yet, many Christian men do. Think hard at what I am saying here. Do you honestly think God puts man in a position of leadership to be brutal? Mean? Careless? So it means more 'fragile' rather than 'lower'. See the difference? Now with this in mind. read the scripture again. Now it will make more sense to you and to your spouse. AMEN And before you let your pride rule your home in the wrong way again, you will think about what I said and have been warned. For God is going to hold you accountable AMEN.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving HONOUR unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

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God will not tell you to put your wife down! it won't work. And men, if you think you are just finding someone to serve you and not marrying out of love, you are only deceiving yourselves. You must love her first and ALLOW her to serve you on her own. Give her a change to take the right position in your marriage. Don't be unfair. You have to keep your part of the relationship too. You can't just take a woman as a partner in God and assume she will just be your maid. Or you can just up and leave her to raise the kids alone. Yet some men do this and take the woman for granted. And they have no clue what is waiting for them at the judgement day. God is concerned because many marriages are unhappy because the men neglect their wives.
And Fathers, you should be a father to your kids too by being present in their lives. Encourage your kids and try to enjoy them too. Not just boss them around. You have to teach children in love and patients balanced with discipline. Discipline is not an act of hate but in correction in love. You should love and respect your wife as yourself. If you love yourself and love your wife, you will surely love her as yourself. AMEN The men who are really truly ONE with their life, are men who truly love and respect her and she is equal partners to him. Yes, he is still the leader and does not mean he has to be a bad one, right?

Ephesians 5:24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I totally agree with scripture and I never see it as a prejudice scripture (as I have heard men try to make it)! Remember, God loves us all and see us all in ONE Spirit in Christ. So we must put aside bias and prejudice towards women aside and throw it in the garbage AMEN.

To me it's normal for a wife to want to be a part of her husband's all the time and even submit to him all the time. Problem is, many men are guilty of not even allowing their wives to be a part of their life in everything--they actually put that wall up between his wife and him and then wonder why she is not able to be ONE with the scripture says above! How can she submit to a man who is never there in her life? Or that abuses her? That is not living in Christ and obeying God. She can submit to you always, yet she is been oppressed when a man does not treat her equal and right in God. God does not ordain sin. So men, abuse is not an option and women are not required to submit to your sin. And abuse is sin. Same goes to the wife she should never abuse her husband or leave him all the time.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

If Men who are mean, and hateful to their wives, bossing them around like a slave, who mistreat their wife, they are not living like this scripture says either.


Men need to follow scriptures, and apply them to their own life too. Not just the ladies. There are many scriptures that apply to the men. Today men need to change their attitude towards women, because if you love your wife as yourself, then you would not be mistreating your wife at all, and you wouldn't think of doing such things if you had the mind of Christ. Surely Jesus would speak to you about it and convict your heart of your sins and behavior AMEN. You will not be mean to yourself will you? Then if you love yourself, you will also love your wife the same as yourself. And even more. You would think more of her than yourself and stop being so selfish. So abuse is no excuse! AMEN

Do you want your wife to treat you like you treat her? Women, do you want your husbands to treat you as you treat him? You both need to seriously think about this if there is not equality in your marriage. Find out why and correct it before you destroy each other. Let the love of Jesus reign in your marriage. If men would stop thinking he is better than his wife--walking together with her in the love of God, and really be a partner and bonded to her, and humble himself before the Lord, and his wife; he would be so blessed and not be living in poverty, and he would see a real breakthrough in his spiritual life. You both would  be a happier couple in Jesus. AMEN

Luke 11:17 KJK
But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth.
So let's not be divided, let's be ONE. AMEN

God does not want a house of God divided in the body of Christ, and surely not or our marriages. He wants us to be ONE in him with no divisions, prejudices, or bias.

If people are mistreating a spouse, they are not in prayer like they should be. They are not staying in the Word  God. If they were praying in the Spirit, and living in the Spirit, they would have a loving spirit to their spouse, for we can't pretend or live two ways. When we live in the we live in the fruits of the Spirit: Kindness and love would radiate through them to each other and in their home. Respect and honor would be there. Fearing God, knowing that we all have a conscience of how to be in Christ. AMEN

God made woman's natural ability to serve a man, and yes it started after Adam and Eve messed up, as well as men required to work to the sweat of their brow to take care of his family, and the women endure pain from childbirth. This is God given. It's just something that we live to do as God wants us. We can do this in love too.

Therefore, there is no need for a man to overpower a woman, for if a man thinks he has to do that, he is not walking in the Spirit of God in kindness with his wife. He is just too hard.
God can soften any hard man AMEN They don't have to have a hardened heart like Pharaoh.

There is a difference in ordering someone around, and asking them politely to do something. Try politely asking instead of telling. It's much better. AMEN

When a man is all about pride and ME ME ME, do for me, give me, this becomes a one-sided relationship and it's all about him. A one-sided relationship will never work. It takes both spouses to be included in the relationship and both need giving and to receive.  In marriage you both have to give to each other in order to be happy as a couple. So like the scripture says Who bewitched you?
Galatians 3:1
O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?
If both the husband and wife have a mature loving relationship, respect for each other, a giving heart to each other, and make decisions and everything they do together, there will not be a need for a power struggle AMEN


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