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Better Christian Marriage
By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye

Ephesians 5:31 KJV
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Nothing is more wonderful than a marriage that is ONE in God and both spouses respect love and treat each other equally and fairly. This is how our Heavenly Father loves us and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Guiding us into all goodness and Godliness in Christ.

I get concerned, because many do not stay ONE after they become married. And instead of being Equally--ONE in Christ, spouses are unequal in Spirit. Many are not on the same page or level together in Christ.

When there is only dominance in marriage, there is no way that equality can exist, and marriage can't be a happy one.

Why unequal when God says, "Two become one"? So with one being dominate, and thinking he is better and not equal to his spouse, does the man think the lady is not the other half and her half is not whole in Christ with the husband?

Think about it:
You hear men say their wife should OBEY--like he feels he has to demand her to. When a man becomes demanding, he becomes aggressive, and makes life difficult for the woman to feel close to him.

Men sometimes forgets about his responsibility to to be loving to his wife too. I know I am stepping on some mens toes today-- I am only speaking truth. I know Jesus wants this known too!

Many men seem more concerned sometimes about only their ego and pride, than righteousness how he should act in his own home. AMEN.

Proverbs 14:3
In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.

John 12:43
For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

Thank God not all men stand in ego and pride. Thank God there are TRUE GODLY MEN IN THIS WORLD TODAY! AMEN

Sorry to have to say this--prejudice towards women is becoming old... Prejudice is not what God intends in the marriage to be, at all. Matter of Fact, my Bible says

Galatians 3:28-29 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

When God says you are ONE He means ONE He does not say. "OH MEN, You are a good half and your wife is the bad half!"

When God made Adam and Eve, he made them as ONE TOGETHER.

God sees a married couple as one flesh, share hand in hand, in being entwined and knit together in love, respect, uplifting one another too.

God did not make man to be a Brutus over his wife, and a monster to her. He never made man to downgrade a woman or his other half.

If one spouse puts down the other, they put down themselves. God made it this way. So what you do, affects the other. That is how 'ONE' God made you!

So, no matter how much your spouse may irritate you or bother you at times, they are still ONE with you, and you can't get away from it. :) You can't use those things for excuses to do them wrong. AMEN!

By keeping your love fresh and your foundation in God, you give your spouse the best of your relationship and keep it so you on the right track. :)

^{1 Corinthians 7:31-35}

And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

So it means, both need to always please God and each other. Not just when you feel like it but always. Love never fails. AMEN

I know I said this before--I want to point out further that, When the Bible says 'weaker vessel' this does not mean the woman is less of a person.

God just knows how tenderhearted woman are. He cares about that too. This is why he tells the man not to be harsh with her.

Being weaker means a woman is emotional. He knows her well, he made her! That is why He said that. The Bible says for a man to TREAT HER 'AS UNTO A WEAKER VESSEL'.

Not meaning to downgrade her. NO WAY!

God's word and love is sacred when it comes to marriage--not abusive!

This didn't say she was not good enough! God wanted men to be sure to understand her and consider her in all things, so he can treat her right, and be tender with her.

If proverbs 31 and other scriptures say to honor her, then that does not mean you put her down. AMEN

I have seen men take scripture as that women do not matter much, and in all honesty, this is not fair to your other half.

Many men take a positive thing and turn it into negative in the Word of God. Let me show you...

Never use the 'weaker vessel' as a bad way, and it's not used as putting a wife down. Remember that, before you down-grade your wife. GOD FORBID!

Surely God would not make sense at all in this Scripture, if he said to treat women lower, and then say honor us.ahaahhaahh that would not make sense at all. So you see how men use 'lower' there instead of 'weaker'. There is quite a difference in the two meanings.

It says to GIVE HONOR TO YOUR WIFE. YOU ARE HEIRS TOGETHER, OF THE GRACE OF LIFE, THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDERED.

So in reality the man is more responsible for his actions in how he deals with his wife. God will not tolerate his bad ways!

So therefore, when the Bible says AS UNTO A WEAKER VESSEL it's saying be careful how you treat her......See the responsibility you have to your wife?

God makes it very clear. God is actually saying to you to treat your wife right and honor her so your prayers will be answered. If you do not treat her right, your prayers will be hindered...

That is the whole point in why it is said in scripture about the 'weaker vessel'.

God is not putting a woman down for he is the one who created her!

If God wouldn't put her down. Then why do Christian men?

Think hard at what I am saying here. Do you honestly think God puts man in a position of leadership to be brutal? Mean? Careless?

So when it's talking about the women being a weaker vessel, it means more 'fragile' rather than 'lower'. See the difference?

Now with this in mind. read the scripture again. Now it will make more sense to you and to your spouse. AMEN

And before you let your pride rule your home in the wrong way again, you will think about what I said and have been warned. For God is going to hold you accountable AMEN.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving HONOUR unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

God will not tell you to put your wife down! It won't work. So give up this idea! And men, if you think you are just finding someone to serve you and not marrying out of love, you are only deceiving yourselves.

You must love her first and ALLOW her to serve you on her own. Give her a change to take the right position in your marriage.

Don't be unfair. You have to keep your part of the relationship too. You can't just take a woman as a partner in God and assume she will just be your maid.

Where is the love of Christ in taking people for granted?

AND you can't just up and leave her to raise the kids alone. Yet some men do this and never become part of their family. their kids hardly know them.

And they have no clue what is waiting for them at the judgement day.

God is concerned, because many marriages are unhappy because the men neglect love and kindness to their wife.

And Fathers, you should be a father to your kids too, by being present in their lives.

Encourage your kids and try to enjoy them too. Not just boss them around. Life is not just about discipline, it is to be balanced with God's love too.

Discipline is not an act of hate but in correction in love.

You should love and respect your wife as yourself. If you love yourself you will love your wife.

The men who are ONE with their wife, are men who truly love and respect her and she is equal partners to him. Yes, he is still the leader and does not mean he has to be a bad one, right?

It's all about being like Christ and acting like him and being a good example to God, your wife, family and the public.

Ephesians 5:24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I totally agree with scripture and I never see it as a prejudice scripture (as I have heard men try to make it).

Remember, God loves us all and see us all in ONE Spirit in Christ. So we must put aside bias and prejudice towards women and throw it in the garbage AMEN.