Where Do You Stand in Your Marriage Relationship?

By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye

A lesson on marriage to uplift and encourage you to be closer as a couple in your marriage, and in the ONENESS of God.

What keeps romance alive in your marriage?

The Answer: Having God in your relationship.

Without God, it's very hard to have a successful marriage and people get into all kinds of problems from living in the world. From drinking, drugs, adultery, going to bars, and places that tempt them more and damage relationships. Also when you live in the world you do not speak as a child of God and many times hate and resentments rule your homes.

A good positive relationship in the Lord, being ONE in God helps you have a pleasant atmosphere in your home, and you can live in peace most of the time with God. 

You don't have to allow the freshness of your love to die in the relationship. Keeping your love fresh and new each day in Jesus is possible! :)

Marriage takes work from both spouses. Being willing to grow closer, instead of allowing yourself to drift apart.

Marriage is an equal ONE partnership for life.

Is your marriage really in the love of Jesus? One in Christ?
Does your love shine to your spouse?

Do you compliment one and build each other up in the Lord?

Live Joyfully with the wife whom Thou lovest all the days of life of thy vanity; which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity; for that is thy portion in this life, and thy labour which thou takest under the son. Ecclesiastes 9:9

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Proverbs 5:15

Another words, enjoy your own family and devote your time to your own house. Being ever faithful to your family.

Let thy fountain be blessed; and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Proverbs 5:18-20

All throughout Proverbs it says to stay away from loose women and to not wander from the nest. To stay away from women who are cheap. Being faithful it utmost importance to your marriage. And God sees all that happens. AMEN

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
I Corinthians 7:3

Showing respect to his wife. And women showing respect to her husband.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is savior of the body
Ephesians 5:22,23

Another words, women are to stay only with their husbands and not be going out and finding other men. To be loyal to her own husband. Submitting only to her own husband. And submitting is not used to be ordered around.

Submitting is a volunteer act of love. AND the verse also means that the husband --being the head of the wife, needs to lead in love and compassion as servant as Jesus does, over the Church.

Not being a hinderance to her or treating her in any disrespectful way. Always wanting the best for her and giving his life for her. Does that sound like YOU husband?

To keep your marriage firm in God, it means to be faithful to your spouse, not running around with and cheating in any way.

You can't call yourself a Christian if you live like that. .

Your life makes you what you are. How you live is seen by all, and even if you try to hide it, everyone knows if you are fake or real.

So, if you really value your marriage, your salvation should mean something to you. If you are living right by God, then you will be living right in your marriage. AMEN!

When a man is blessed of God and knows how to be head of his wife, he will be consider her in all of his ways.

His pride is not a priority in the relationship. He will die to self and pride and lay his life down for her.

He will love his wife and lead his family in all Godliness, and have compassion and love them, as much as himself.  Loving the Bride as Christ loved her and gave his life for her.

When a man takes a wife's hand in marriage, he is responsible for her, to protect and defend her.  As she walks  side-by-side with him, she can depend on him as her best friend, and he can lead by God to be the best husband for the Lord and his family in the most awesome way.

How Husbands and Fathers should lead--according to scripture:

BEING ONE--because God wants you to be close!

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Timothy 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Note: Notice the word WELL. This means a man should be organized enough to work and care for his family, manage his bills, manage his life, and give the best to be a good example to them, balancing loving his kids with good discipline and teaching them, knowing how to be a husband and father in the fear of the Lord, to do good in all his ways -being the best loving husband and father he can be in for God

1 Peter  3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.1 John 2:13-14 I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Psalm 128: 3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

How Women should lead her position along side her husband according to scripture:

TItus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives

How do you stand in your marriage relationship?

Respect is vital in marriage for both husband and wife. God gives us a free will to choose, and allows us to be ourselves. God blesses the love that grows in a relationship.

When you can keep the love fresh always and new each day, with your total trust in God, you can have the full pleasure and blossom in it.

When husband's protect their wife, showing respect and kindness to her, this is truly the love of Jesus as the head of the marriage. That is the best start and gives the lady comfort and security in knowing she can trust her man to lead her well in the Lord and they can trust each other in their love.

Note: Protect is to love and care, not be possessive and controlling of her!

If spouses in God will build their foundation on love and trust in the Lord, they can have a marriage that is blessed and can go forward with the anointing of God together.

When marriage is based on the Bible you can stand on the promises of God and teach your children about Jesus.

You can be a family in the ONENESS of God. And when the parents are strong in love and balanced with the Word in their life, then the kids will learn to be strong also in the Lord.

Jesus taught us all to love each other. He set the standard of how we should walk and be.

Being ONE In marriage means to both try to give as much as they can to show more love, patience, kindness and endurance together.

For this is not a man's world. This is the Bride's world--The bride of Christ. Working together as a team in love, keeping that relationship loving and growing in God.

Men do you give your life for your wife? Do you respect her?  is a Spiritual wake up call...According to Scripture, you are to be a giver also and not expect her to be the only one who works on, and gives to the relationship. You have to do your part too. Not being lazy in the relationship and being partakers in standing together and doing your part to make it work.  It takes both of you giving together from the heart.

Are you ONE with your wife in the Lord? Women do you feel one with your husband?




So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:28

You know what I often wondered? If a man beats his wife and mistreats her, does he hate himself? Surely he will do the right thing before God, and love his wife and not do that anymore. Oh that he will be humbled in the Lord's eyes and to his wife. A good example in the Love of the Lord. Surely if he loves himself as the Scripture says he will surely love his wife also ,and make it right with her.  For what he does to his wife, he is doing to God and himself. For his wife and him are ONE. Please keep couples who are struggling in your prayers. Please pray with me about all the husbands that need to be better leaders in Jesus.

I hope these teachings will give hope and help to spouses who are having problems being close. God is more than able to help you get on track again! He can truly restore and renew your help love relationship, and help you to stand firm in a solid healthy relationship in God.

The Bible shows balance and love in each role of the husband and wife with love--discriminating nor bias. God loves men and women the same. He created both of them in love and care. Both uniquely designed by God's hands.

Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33

What good does it do if you are both unhappy? Unhappiness comes from selfishness, and pride. When pride and selfishness are laid down and love is allowed to grow again, your love can be rekindled, then both can be happy again!.

If only one spouse is devoted and loves, and the other is abusing or becomes lazy in the relationship, how can their be ONE in the Spirit of God if you are walking in the flesh? When you are walking in the mind and spirit of God as husband and wife, you have the same mind and are yoked together in the Love of God. God forgives our mistakes so it's never to late to repent and make it right to your spouse and change your ways.

Think about it, If your bed has lost it's savor in the marriage, look at your relationship. You can't have a good sensual relationship in the marriage bed if you are not getting alone or things are not right with each other. Until you get your relationship on track with God's love and will, you can't have a spark to keep the fires burning.

When your marriage is sure, strong and in the Lord, you can stand in confidence knowing God has bless your relationship.If you are a couple that is not as happy as you want to be. And you need some help bringing your love back, you both have to want to work at this relationship. And set a love foundation back in it. When you work on making things right, apologize when you see you are being too hard, or neglecting each other, when you focus on trying to find ways to please each other to make each other happy again,You will get back the love you lost, and the marriage bed will be healed and blessed again. AMEN Troubles put a damper on your marriage bed. So, stay happy and find ways to make each other happy.

Working on the marriage equally and never giving up. AMEN Always loving and trying. For love never fails nor gives up! It  is sacred to God and should be for you and your spouse. Your spouse should be the Utmost importance in your life, in God. Remember God blessed both of you at the altar.  You have to always remember that commitment you made at the altar. You owe it to each other.  It's a devotion that lasts a lifetime.

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8

According to the Merriam Dictionary online:
Infidel means:
1: one who is not a Christian or who opposes Christianity
2 a: an unbeliever with respect to a particular religion
b: one who acknowledges no religious belief
3: a disbeliever in something specified or understood

Now go back up and read 1 Timothy 5:8 again.

Men, tell me something...Have you ever wondered why God would not answer you? Could it be you are not honoring your wife as you should? Just something to seriously consider in God. So the pride needs to go, so that you can really love your wife as you should.

If you are the type of man who finds himself being too hard on his wife and family and you want to make a change in your life to be a better husband and father, go to your wife and repent to her and ask her to forgive your attitude and tell her you love her and want to rekindle their relationship. That you want to be more devoted to God and her more and be better for the family. And lead at you should AMEN

It takes a real man of God to say "I am sorry" or "I was wrong." Do not allow your pride to stop you from having a loving relationship with your wife. For time is too short to give up the blessings you deserve now.

How can we say we follow the Word if we are causing problems in our own homes with our spouses?

TItus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Let's look at the meanings of the words in the scripture above to see what each word really means. Again I look a the Merriam Webster Dictionary online and it says that

Sober means:

*a: sparing in the use of food and drink : abstemious b: not addicted to intoxicating drink c: not drunk
*marked by sedate or gravely or earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor
*unhurried, calm
*showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice

Discreet means:
*having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in *speech : prudent ;
*especially : capable of preserving prudent silence

*A favorable Character or tendency
*Can be relied on
*Fit and suitable
*True, and honorable

Obedience to their own husband.

Men, here is something a man told me who teaches marriage.  He said, "If a man treats a woman right, he will have a happy marriage.

And that most all of the problems in marriage are caused by a man not treating his wife right".  I felt this statement was so true.

What is this saying? If a man runs on pride over the woman, and wants his own way, takes advantage of her and abuses that privilege, he will not have a good relationship with his wife, and has no clue how to lead her or his family.

She needs a man who will work together in their relationship, who will treat her with respect and love, with kindness and patience. That is the only way it can work.

And if the man does not run on pride and loves her truly in Christ, he will love her right and she will be happy.

He will not just treat her like a piece of property--he will truly live his life for her. He will truly try to do what is right in the sight of God. Once he learns to respect her, he will make her happy.

Think about it guys, if you want to start problems with your wife, just be rude and sarcastic and you will see a bad reaction from her.

If you want her to be happy with you, then you have to put forth the effort to be kind and mannerly and show some respect so she can respect you back. :) Act like a man not a boy. :) Be mature.

So, if you stop the sarcasm, say something nice instead, stop being hard and callus and be kind and tender, you your wife will be able to warm up to you and be loving and trust you. Trust is what you want right? Yes!

A man who can love his wife right, without being bull-headed and stubborn man, then he has mastered how to lead like Jesus.

For if you are like Jesus you will not allow those things to lead your family. This is a wise man who can let pride go.

Pride is only of the flesh. Pride is ugly. Pride will divide your spouse and you, your friends, your business associates also.

And another point I need to make: The best way to make a lady unhappy is to make dumb choices and spend all the money, not manage your finances, be rude, cold and disrespectful.

You will not have  happy lady if you do any of these things. You must find out how to treat a lady and love her for real, for her to respect and love you.

If you want her to trust you, learn how to manage your finances, learn how to treat her like a queen and then you will see her smile and please you. That simple.

You can't expect a lady to go to the marriage bed when you treat her bad.

She can't function and please you or be in that mood when you put her down or be mean to her.

So remember, if you want her to be happy there, you must be sweet and kind and mean it.

Show some respect to her from now on and establish a better relationship with her. Show her how much you love her each day and correct your bad habits.

Love leads fairly--like Jesus does. Try being friends with your spouse and open to heart, listen and communicate also.

See your spouse as 'your Equal'--as your ONE in Christ.

Allow yourself to learn from each other. Learn a new way. Your prayers will start being answered by God when your family is treated better.

I hope this lesson has blessed you and helped you see that God's love is not as complicated as people make it out to be.

That marriage can be enjoyable to both of you in Jesus.

By keeping your spouse healthy and happy requires work and that it will not happen on its own -- just like, a flower won't grow if it isn't watered and fed.

Relationships need nurturing, tending to, time, and energy to grow too! We often forget, that a couple contains two human beings who both need to be appreciated, heard, valued, and respected. So go do the right thing! :)

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