Marriage Problems and Solutions Part 2
By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye
1 Timothy 3: 1-7 1This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given
to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
TO WOMEN:
Women, men are logical, so they think more than they talk.
So women need to work on being more logical when they talk to their husbands.This way your husband can understand how you are feeling.
If you talk to him with your emotions or nagging, he will tend to tune you out, or learn to ignore you. Is this what you want?
Men are logical so they need to show and consider the women's feelings.
Not being so tough and mean to her. Be softer and gentle.
Women who are shy tend to hold in so many feelings. And some men use more dominance on women who are shy.
This closes shy women up from talking. And they end up miserable with that dominate man because she can't share with him. He does not understand her.
I encourage women to try to learn to communicate.
This will stop a lot of problems and help find solution to the problems you already have.
Don't hold it in, because you are afraid. Let the man know what is inside of you.
If a woman allows abuse to start, then she will be trapped in it. you must never allow a man to be abusive in the first place.
You have to put your foot down when it comes to that and refuse to have it in your marriage relationship.
By communicating you can be clear on how you feel and prevent violence in the home.
How women can overcome shyness and be equal with their husband.
First of all, God does not want you abused. And if you are shy, you may find it hard to defend yourself should your husband be a dominate person.
Abuse in a relationship, IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP IN GOD!
You both are one in God. Abuse was not what God created marriage for!
Men also need correction when they try to verbally abuse you.
Never let your husband start that, or you will have a big problem with him as time goes on.
When you make sure a man respects you, at the beginning, they are more apt to treat you right. God does not want you abused!
If it's just simple fear inside that keeps you from communication, try to open up to him and give yourself a chance and him to try.
Act as normal as possible. You don't have to act like his slave or go overboard with that. Just be yourself. Kind and assertive.
This will help him see you as a normal person instead of someone below him. God wants you equal and so you have to ask like his equal partner.
Try open communication and don't hide things. Hiding hurts the relationship. And being honest is telling truthfully how you feel.
Tell your husband and see if he will work with you. If you express yourself in a logical way, men are more willing to hear you.
Don’t talk to him with emotions if you are upset. Talk to him when you are calm, and he will be more apt hear and understand you.
If you nag him about the same issues over and over again, he will end up leaving the house to get away from you or turn you off and plug his ears to your words.
A TRUE MAN OF GOD WILL TREAT YOU GOOD...
If your husband really loves you he will also take the time to hear you and not do that to you.
So make sure you approach him right and with a good and calm attitude.
TO THE MEN:
Men, when women share with you, they just want to talk. They don’t want you to fix their problem, unless they are ask you for help.
Many women know how to solve their own problems. They only want you to hear them and show that you care. This is part of bonding with them :)
Unless they ask for help, be a good support by listening.
Allow your wife to release her stress verbally. And never make her feel guilty for sharing with you.
It keeps her healthy and happy when she can communicate with you and have an outlet.
Remember, When men are stressed, they want to love their wives to release stress.
When ladies are stressed they need to talk things out to be happy again, and then, they can be romantic with their husbands.
Don’t expect an upset lady to make love to you when she is upset about something.
Solve the problems, so she can be happy when you go to your marriage bed. God is counting on you with this men!
This is why the scriptures says, to not go to bed angry. He understands this.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath
God sees how everyone acts and if they confess to be Christians they have an obligation to God to watch how they act to their family.
You both can have a good love life. If you stop problems from developing, it won’t interrupt it.
Problems and troubles are big marriage-bed breakers! So keep your relationship sweet!
Love your wife enough to help her achieve happiness.
By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye
1 Timothy 3: 1-7 1This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given
to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
TO WOMEN:
Women, men are logical, so they think more than they talk.
So women need to work on being more logical when they talk to their husbands.This way your husband can understand how you are feeling.
If you talk to him with your emotions or nagging, he will tend to tune you out, or learn to ignore you. Is this what you want?
Men are logical so they need to show and consider the women's feelings.
Not being so tough and mean to her. Be softer and gentle.
Women who are shy tend to hold in so many feelings. And some men use more dominance on women who are shy.
This closes shy women up from talking. And they end up miserable with that dominate man because she can't share with him. He does not understand her.
I encourage women to try to learn to communicate.
This will stop a lot of problems and help find solution to the problems you already have.
Don't hold it in, because you are afraid. Let the man know what is inside of you.
If a woman allows abuse to start, then she will be trapped in it. you must never allow a man to be abusive in the first place.
You have to put your foot down when it comes to that and refuse to have it in your marriage relationship.
By communicating you can be clear on how you feel and prevent violence in the home.
How women can overcome shyness and be equal with their husband.
First of all, God does not want you abused. And if you are shy, you may find it hard to defend yourself should your husband be a dominate person.
Abuse in a relationship, IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP IN GOD!
You both are one in God. Abuse was not what God created marriage for!
Men also need correction when they try to verbally abuse you.
Never let your husband start that, or you will have a big problem with him as time goes on.
When you make sure a man respects you, at the beginning, they are more apt to treat you right. God does not want you abused!
If it's just simple fear inside that keeps you from communication, try to open up to him and give yourself a chance and him to try.
Act as normal as possible. You don't have to act like his slave or go overboard with that. Just be yourself. Kind and assertive.
This will help him see you as a normal person instead of someone below him. God wants you equal and so you have to ask like his equal partner.
Try open communication and don't hide things. Hiding hurts the relationship. And being honest is telling truthfully how you feel.
Tell your husband and see if he will work with you. If you express yourself in a logical way, men are more willing to hear you.
Don’t talk to him with emotions if you are upset. Talk to him when you are calm, and he will be more apt hear and understand you.
If you nag him about the same issues over and over again, he will end up leaving the house to get away from you or turn you off and plug his ears to your words.
A TRUE MAN OF GOD WILL TREAT YOU GOOD...
If your husband really loves you he will also take the time to hear you and not do that to you.
So make sure you approach him right and with a good and calm attitude.
TO THE MEN:
Men, when women share with you, they just want to talk. They don’t want you to fix their problem, unless they are ask you for help.
Many women know how to solve their own problems. They only want you to hear them and show that you care. This is part of bonding with them :)
Unless they ask for help, be a good support by listening.
Allow your wife to release her stress verbally. And never make her feel guilty for sharing with you.
It keeps her healthy and happy when she can communicate with you and have an outlet.
Remember, When men are stressed, they want to love their wives to release stress.
When ladies are stressed they need to talk things out to be happy again, and then, they can be romantic with their husbands.
Don’t expect an upset lady to make love to you when she is upset about something.
Solve the problems, so she can be happy when you go to your marriage bed. God is counting on you with this men!
This is why the scriptures says, to not go to bed angry. He understands this.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath
God sees how everyone acts and if they confess to be Christians they have an obligation to God to watch how they act to their family.
You both can have a good love life. If you stop problems from developing, it won’t interrupt it.
Problems and troubles are big marriage-bed breakers! So keep your relationship sweet!
Love your wife enough to help her achieve happiness.
You both can have a good love life. If you stop problems from developing, it won’t interrupt it.
Problems and troubles are big marriage-bed breakers! So keep your relationship sweet!
Love your wife enough to help her achieve happiness.
This is why it's so important for men to get this, and understand why you need to be there for your lady emotionally.
If you are not, it will drain your own love-life. Then you can't blame your spouse now that you know. :) It's your responsibility to
Be sensitive to your wife and care! Know women are not like men.
Don't treat her like her words are dumb or belittle her. Never do that or you will be adding to your problems.
No problems or words are dumb. No questions are dumb. So treat her with respect.
Stop the rudeness and sarcasm. It does not work well in marriage. :) Those type of words only hurt her. Best way to turn her into a nag!!!
Don’t resent the way a woman is made, because God made her the way she is! Show more respect and love to her and you will see a big difference in your marriage :)
God is watching you!
Remember, both of you are special to God, and you both have an obligation to make each other happy. God counts on it!
Women Learn the Right Approach to Your Husband!
If you are going to talk to your husband and get results, you need to know how to talk to him.
Talk with a level head. Be proud of him and tell him how much you appreciate him, ask how his day was.
Always let a man know you admire him. That you love and appreciate him.
If he is tired, don't hit him with a bunch of problems.
Find the right time to talk to him. Only share some, and a little at a time.
Give him time to process it before telling him more later.
Find a good time when he is rested and in a cheerful mood.
Start with "I feel" when you tell him something that is bothering you.
When you use this approach then he will be apt to understand you better than complaining to him.
If it's something he is doing, here is an example of an approach to talk to him about it.
Example: "When you embarrass me in front of people, it makes me feel degraded, and put down and I want to feel special to you. I want you to be proud of me as your wife."Then he will see how you are feeling.
Let him know you pray for him. I know you are emotional, and things may bother you, and if you can try to be more logical to a man when you tell him your feelings, he will open up to you more.
If you have something bothering you, just say to him, “something is bothering me” this will get his attention and he will want to know what is bothering you. He should open right up and care of what you have to say.
If you attack him emotionally with words, LIKE "YOU DID THIS" OR "YOU DID THAT", he will back away and it will spoil your chance to tell him what is inside of you
wanting to come out.
So, find a way to talk to him in an assertive, not aggressive way. Try to express yourself more logically instead of in anger or nagging. And be honest and calm.
If you feel angry or he does, allow yourselves to cool down before you talk again.
Try to be brief and to the point. Men get impatient if you beat around the bush. You need to say how you feel inside calmly, and it helps to say, ‘I feel’
When you start your sentence, or "I am going through some things that are making me feel......." AND MEN: you should listen to her as you care. Stop putting her off for another time!Simply listen and care what she says. :)
BACK TO THE WOMEN:
Example: If you need to tell your husband that you need money for the child’s school, You sit down together and share how the school wants a certain amount for the class the deadline is at this date. See, if you and your spouse can work out a time when you both can get the money together.
Do it in peace and try not to fight about it.
And men, make sure you take this to heart and stop using excuses for the things you want, but try putting the kids and your wife first and then God will bless your ministry more.
If you mistreat your wife and family it can cause God not to answer your prayers!
WORKING TOGETHER AS A MARRIED COUPLE:
Both work on raising the funds and bring the money together. Don’t expect one person to raise it all alone. Work together. This is what a family is all about! Working together! Remember men, women need your help with the family too!
Women don’t demand your husband to get your things,
ask for help but be willing to also help too.
There is always a peaceful way to work things out together.
It takes you both listening, caring and finding solutions for marriages and families to run smooth and to get things accomplished and to have a happy marriage and family.
Both men and women need to stop trying to use selfishness to control their spouses. It's much better to show your real Christianity by how you act to each other! With the real love of God.
Men demand too much too and should find a nicer way to say things. Both of you! Say things in love.
Find ways to work together and be honest with each other about everything so that you can work things out.
If you are not honest with yourself or your spouse about your true feelings and you keep them locked inside of you, it is really hurting your relationship!
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TO MEN:
Men, one thing women like in men is security, love, emotional support, kindness, patience, assistance when there is a problem.
If you allow her to solve some of the problems, if she is able to do so. This will be a better solution.
Don’t control her--love her. Be willing to give back to her, and care about her needs Don't just think of your needs.
Remember men, God does not make wimpy women, God made them so they could stand and support you, so you better treat them right.
Women are not your slave. They are partners in marriage to you in love. Try to see your wife as your best friend.
You will see problems melt away if you stop fighting her, or expecting from her. If you learn to give to her, you keep your wife happy, and you will be happy too.
Did you ever hear Jesus make everyone, and force them to submit to him?
He always gives them a choice. He is patient, humble and fair. So should spouses be to each other.
If you are having a problem, go to your spouse and confess your faults one to another and apologize when you are wrong.
Don't be too proud to say I AM SORRY.
This shows respect to each other and courtesy.
Don't let ego stop you from making things right and being able to admit you were wrong makes you a better person.
Your wife will even show more respect to you if you do :)
Oh yes, and kiss and make up and forgive! That is the best part!
Share these ideas with them and maybe you can set new goals and times together to do things differently and in a better and healthier way for your family.
EGOS and Pride Keep Closeness away! THEY DEFEAT YOU!
They cause resentment, hurt and is too competitive.Being ‘macho’ is nothing, being Godly is everything!
We are not getting to heaven on an ego trip, we get to heaven by living right with God. We need to humble ourselves and work together with our families and to not add to problems but to find ways to solve them.
Stop competing and start being a team and you will accomplish more!
The biggest problems in marriage is when couples can't work things out and they become unfaithful!
This should not ever happen in ministry! Those who cheat on their wife are not right with God.
Did you realize that Jesus gave innocent spouses options of divorce or stay with their unfaithful spouse? Let's look very closely to what Jesus said in Scripture:
So stop trying to reach out to other men and women when you go through hard times with each other. Work it out in your own home!!!
People give up on their marriages too much. You will not go to heaven if you are living in sin. No matter if you are a preacher or not, and I also believe that Jesus handles each person's circumstances separately, depending on what they went through. So, not all cases are the same.
I truly believe that God forgives you when you marry the wrong person, and they are unfaithful, because all sins can be forgiven. AND unfaithfulness breaks the bond of marriage and gives the innocent party the option if they want to divorce the person who committed adultery or choose to stay and forgive them and and give them another chance. This is why I believe
Jesus said this.
The Bible also says, in 1 Corinthians 7:15 If the unbeliever depart, let him depart for a brother and sister is not under bondage in those cases.
Another words, they are not bound to that person if the unbeliever leaves you. They are free if the unbeliever decides they don't want to be married anymore.
Because the bond of ONENESS is in the believers. This is why Paul wrote and taught that and said that if you have an unbelieving husband and he wants to stay with you, you stay with them so that maybe they will get saved. But if the unbeliever does depart. You are not held accountable in that situation.
So spouses should work on their relationships to prevent this from ever happening to them,and try to make each other happy. Women this applies to you too! Be true to each other and don't allow your marriage to die in the arms of another! GOD FORBID!
If you are truly both Christians there should be better behavior displayed in the marriage. Because they both serve the living God. AMEN!
Keep your family ministry ‘number one’ always!
Be sensible and manage your family in a Godly way--not in an ego way.
In Gods way it's always in being loving and kind as is towards the Church--with much love and compassion.
A husband and wife in the Lord are the Church. So treat each other right in the body of Christ.
Men you need to hang up your ego and start being a real loving man like Jesus is, make every effort to be a team and work together.
Stop playing MR BOSS, and causing so many problems!
Be a real humble man for Jesus and try being a servant to your family.
Women support your man and work with him not against him.
Listen to each other and care about each other, be real, honest, responsible, sensible and God will reward your relationship.
Pride kills so many families, injures husbands, wives, and also children.
Let stop hurting each other and edify one another and build better families for the Lord. Let’s make positive changes for Jesus. He is counting on is to be sensible servants so that we can be rewarded when the Master Comes!
Men, one thing women like in men is security, love, emotional support, kindness, patience, assistance when there is a problem.
If you allow her to solve some of the problems, if she is able to do so. This will be a better solution.
Don’t control her--love her. Be willing to give back to her, and care about her needs Don't just think of your needs.
Remember men, God does not make wimpy women, God made them so they could stand and support you, so you better treat them right.
Women are not your slave. They are partners in marriage to you in love. Try to see your wife as your best friend.
You will see problems melt away if you stop fighting her, or expecting from her. If you learn to give to her, you keep your wife happy, and you will be happy too.
Did you ever hear Jesus make everyone, and force them to submit to him?
He always gives them a choice. He is patient, humble and fair. So should spouses be to each other.
If you are having a problem, go to your spouse and confess your faults one to another and apologize when you are wrong.
Don't be too proud to say I AM SORRY.
This shows respect to each other and courtesy.
Don't let ego stop you from making things right and being able to admit you were wrong makes you a better person.
Your wife will even show more respect to you if you do :)
Oh yes, and kiss and make up and forgive! That is the best part!
Share these ideas with them and maybe you can set new goals and times together to do things differently and in a better and healthier way for your family.
EGOS and Pride Keep Closeness away! THEY DEFEAT YOU!
They cause resentment, hurt and is too competitive.Being ‘macho’ is nothing, being Godly is everything!
We are not getting to heaven on an ego trip, we get to heaven by living right with God. We need to humble ourselves and work together with our families and to not add to problems but to find ways to solve them.
Stop competing and start being a team and you will accomplish more!
The biggest problems in marriage is when couples can't work things out and they become unfaithful!
This should not ever happen in ministry! Those who cheat on their wife are not right with God.
Did you realize that Jesus gave innocent spouses options of divorce or stay with their unfaithful spouse? Let's look very closely to what Jesus said in Scripture:
So stop trying to reach out to other men and women when you go through hard times with each other. Work it out in your own home!!!
People give up on their marriages too much. You will not go to heaven if you are living in sin. No matter if you are a preacher or not, and I also believe that Jesus handles each person's circumstances separately, depending on what they went through. So, not all cases are the same.
I truly believe that God forgives you when you marry the wrong person, and they are unfaithful, because all sins can be forgiven. AND unfaithfulness breaks the bond of marriage and gives the innocent party the option if they want to divorce the person who committed adultery or choose to stay and forgive them and and give them another chance. This is why I believe
Jesus said this.
The Bible also says, in 1 Corinthians 7:15 If the unbeliever depart, let him depart for a brother and sister is not under bondage in those cases.
Another words, they are not bound to that person if the unbeliever leaves you. They are free if the unbeliever decides they don't want to be married anymore.
Because the bond of ONENESS is in the believers. This is why Paul wrote and taught that and said that if you have an unbelieving husband and he wants to stay with you, you stay with them so that maybe they will get saved. But if the unbeliever does depart. You are not held accountable in that situation.
So spouses should work on their relationships to prevent this from ever happening to them,and try to make each other happy. Women this applies to you too! Be true to each other and don't allow your marriage to die in the arms of another! GOD FORBID!
If you are truly both Christians there should be better behavior displayed in the marriage. Because they both serve the living God. AMEN!
Keep your family ministry ‘number one’ always!
Be sensible and manage your family in a Godly way--not in an ego way.
In Gods way it's always in being loving and kind as is towards the Church--with much love and compassion.
A husband and wife in the Lord are the Church. So treat each other right in the body of Christ.
Men you need to hang up your ego and start being a real loving man like Jesus is, make every effort to be a team and work together.
Stop playing MR BOSS, and causing so many problems!
Be a real humble man for Jesus and try being a servant to your family.
Women support your man and work with him not against him.
Listen to each other and care about each other, be real, honest, responsible, sensible and God will reward your relationship.
Pride kills so many families, injures husbands, wives, and also children.
Let stop hurting each other and edify one another and build better families for the Lord. Let’s make positive changes for Jesus. He is counting on is to be sensible servants so that we can be rewarded when the Master Comes!
