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By Apostle Cathryn Ndyabagye

(Faithful spouses in the love of God and each other)

When couples get married, some are unequally yoked, and this is not God's plan for their life.

When the subject unequally yoked is taught in the Bible, it's speaking of a Christian not marrying a non-christian.

If they are both not Christian it is not considered equally yoked in God. The Lord prefers a Christian to marry a Christian.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

So the Bible says not to marry a non-believer. Both Christian spouses have the obligation to  live a righteous life in their marriage. God puts a responsibility on both spouses to live in the unity of the Lord.

If a man or woman goes into a marriage, claiming to be a Christian and acts like the devil to his/her spouse, they are considered unequally yoked.

You can't act like the devil and say you are tranformed! So it has to show by the fruits of God in your life!

If a spouse ends up hating his spouse, the love of the Father is not in him..

1 John 2:9 He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

Have you ever thought that? If a man marries a woman in selfishness thinking he just married her to own her, or just to get served, and ends up treats her bad, ordering her around, slapping her and not respecting her, or a women abuses her husband, is this the character of Christ?

This happens a lot today!

Even if they both got married in a Church, and said they were Christian. They are not right with God and is not acceptable to Him.

A Christian would follow the Bible completely and not on their own will, and in the will of the Father Jehovah God.

They would try to humbly heed the whole word of God and apply it to their own lives. And that includes loving their spouses!

Jesus sees marriage as a 'yoked marriage',  when both spouses are righteous Christians. This means we are equally ONE in Christ. Two as ONE person. 

Like oxen are yoked together to pull. This is what yoked means.

Two made to work together to pull the load. No matter where they go together, they have to walk together and are made to be ONE as a team.

As a Christian, it's a big responsibility we face when we take on marrying someone.

Some Christians I know, have went into marriage sincere, with a heart of life-time commitment in their minds.

And their husband's man becomes like the devil, giving no regards to their marriage at all. These women were scammed.

I am sure some men feel this same way by the women they marry who do the same thing to them too who are mean to their husband!

Thinking they had a true Christian spouse, only to find he/she was not a true Christian was a shock to the them.

They were very disappointed to not get to be ONE with their spouse as they planned.

You see why we need more compassion for those who have faced a hard time in these circumstances. Not be so judging to those suffering in marriage.

Be a light and encourage them in the word and in your life. Love them and pray with them!

It's sad but this happens way too much in the Christian communities.

And what is a spouse to do when they can't be ONE with their spouse and serve God with them? What is a man to do when his wife goes bad? Or what can a woman do when her husband is bad?

We need a compassionate heart and understanding to deal with all these problems AMEN

Sometimes getting married is a waist of time for some couples.

They are all excited at first, and can't wait to be husband and wife--then something dies and rots in them. It's heart breaking.

It's like someone gave up and they dried up like a prune! But they really all went through something very painful--Not adjusting and growing together in Christ!

So we can't judge them. Prayer is the key to help people today AMEN

It's so hard for women who dedicate so many loyal hours to their spouse, only to find that they were just taken for granted or misused and then off they go to someone else. I hurt for them!

This is why I am always teaching these things,  to help couples who are dating or looking for a mate, reminding them, to  'take their time not rush into marriage'.

It's not what you think it is. And a person has to be sure and ready for marriage before they make that commitment. They must have time to know that person well!

Marriage can be a very beautiful experience, if you have the right person who is as dedicated as you to the Lord and each other.

I know couples that are rock solid in the love of the Lord. They know what they are doing in the Spirit too!

I have heard men share with me how they loved their wife so much and found that she was unfaithful to him. It broke their hearts so much. Yes women cheat too.

What makes people cheat?

Rejection? Being Neglected? Being Abused? Being selfish? Whatever the case, it's sin when you cheat and it's not honored by God.

And if the other spouse caused them to give up on their marriage to find someone else, this is called a stumblingblock! So both spouses have to be more responsible! God sees both!

Many woman are not being pleased by the man in the marriage bed and this will affect a lady and make her feel that he does care about pleasing her. Only himself.

Men need to realize  It's good to talk to your wife to see how you can please her too.

Men seem so callus about the sexual parts of women, and uneducated.

There are so many problems that couples face, and this is why I write these teachings to help many of you.

If a man can't learn how to please his lady, how can he think she will want to be with him? Especially if she is unable to share with him verbally. And marriage is a life-time commitment. These things can be worked out! :)

Tell me men, if you were to be married to a lady for a lifetime, how would you feel if she only pleased herself in sex,  and didn't please you?

A lot of women are experiencing this, and it's sad too, because men are  just not getting it.

Thank God some men are getting it, and have learned this. :)

When a guy can get out of his selfish mode before he has sex with his wife, and join with his wife to please her and make her happy before they start making love, then he can please her!

When he pleases his wife--He is pleasing God!

Both spouses need to please each other and not stop doing that.

Marriage is not a one-sided relationship. There are two people involved. And the marriage bed is very important.  It takes both to love and be happy. To satisfy both of you.

When men become lazy and selfish in sex, they will destroy their marriage eventually.

Couples are halves that make ONE whole person in God. Yoked together in the love of the Lord. Praise God!

So, they must care about each other as their own self.

If you fail your spouse, you are responsible, because they are part of you.When you fail your spouse you fail yourself and God!

When couples go into marriage with the love of the Lord, in prayer, honor and respect for each other, they learn to endure all kinds of tests and trials.

They makes their marriage stronger! They learn to hang onto God and each other. God gives them favor!

Even the best of Christians face hard times and testings. We can't avoid going through them sometimes. That is just life.

And one thing we must know from the Word--God does not want us to waver from marriage and from loving each other.

When marriage is founded and yoked in the love of Christ, it is truly founded and yoked with at true forever foundation of God's kingdom for life.

It has to be safeguarded from the pollutions of this world. Because unfaithfulness, or any hateful things done to a spouses, creates more hate and strife. Disrupts your life, and tears it into threads. 

Staying in prayer, the Spirit of God, living a true righteous life, will enable you to stand true with your spouse. If one of you wavers, it will make it all be imbalanced and messed up.

When you are both strong in God you can lift each other up and encourage.

Like I said before, it takes two to make a marriage and two to break it.

The Word of God keeps our walk right in the Lord, and both spouses will depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

We can always learn from each other and blend in the Lord! It works! :)

With God's grace and help, you and your spouse can stand true and together in the love of God.

God will give couples a good foundation, untarnished, when they are faithful! God opens up many wonderful doors to the faithful. AMEN

To live right with no mistreatment to each other. And God will be sure to tell us all when we need to correct  ourselves our hearts. And you have an obligation to God, and your spouse to apologize when we wrong each other AMEN

How Pointing Fingers Hurts People and Marriages:

I learned something else that is a love killer... Pointing fingers does not work in the Christian community. It only hurts.

Couples who go to their parents to seek a blessing for a hand in marriage, who are scorned and put down because the family could not accept the person their relative is marrying, based on the future spouse's past...


How Pointing Fingers Hurts People and Marriages:

I learned something else that is a love killer... Pointing fingers does not work in the Christian community. It only hurts.

Couples who go to their parents to seek a blessing for a hand in marriage, who are scorned and put down because the family could not accept the person their relative is marrying, based on the future spouse's past...

Who has a right to judge anyone's past when they are covered in the blood of Jesus? If they are living right with God today, what does the past benefit a gossip?

God sees our hearts in the present. He doesn't care about the past anymore. Jesus already died for our sins so why do people gossip and talk about other people like Jesus never died?

He paid the price,and if they put the sin back into the person's life, or accuse them when it's covered by Jesus blood,  they are  blaspheming God and crucifying Him afresh!

God forbid that we open our mouths and talk about people's past, and hold it against them!

Shame on us all if we even think of doing that to someone!

Too many fingers are pointing at others, when they should point only at ourselves the moment we sin, and we have to make it right with God too--then let it go--move on--not looking back!.

Jesus said to not look back, so what does that mean? Don't look back! Stop putting people down over their past! AMEN

Luke 9:62 says, "And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

So Christian families of couples engaged, need to let go of delving into people's past and business, and stop using it as a gossip tool! They should know better!

Look at who the person is now. Stop digging into find a pimple that is not there anymore and is healed!

Sin also causes great problems in marriages. Without love and acceptance, how can that person be part of the family?

Humans are so selfish and self-righteous. It's so sad to me how the body of Christ can't be kinder and nicer.

Seems so many are nosey and try to find fault with everyone. Meddling in others affairs and business. Just looking for an excuse to put anyone down if they don't live up to their expectations.

What happened to accepting people as they are in Christ? Jesus accepted us all the way we are. So why are Christians wanting to be this way?

Maybe it's the affects of the media-- always delving into others business or something, I am not sure. And it's not the way the Bible teaches. And boy! times have really changed!

Ephesians 2:19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;

The lives of each of us are in God's hands, not in those who gossip. AMEN Jesus said to not look back, so why to people want to look back?

I guess we have many who are not fit for the kingdom of heaven right?

It's very important that we stop looking back and live in the present. God help us to stay focus on what the word says!

Our attitude we emit, should be love, right? And it affects all of those around us!

Is love what you project?

I heard some people  say to me in Africa, as they put down Americans, by saying that 'American has so many divorces and nobody stays married'.

True! we do have divorces and so does Africa!

I know many people who never divorced in the USA! My parents were married over 70 some years!

In America, many can't handle cheaters,and divorce because of fornication, just as Jesus said they could divorce for.

In Africa, they accept adultery, or having many wives and live with it a lot. And They do have many divorces in Africa too! Check the divorce courts! :)

So who is better? Nobody!

We all have to repent from sins and make it right with God if we want to enter heaven. That is the most important thing! To be  when Jesus comes!

Honestly, you can't compare anyone with anyone! All have sinned!

Yes, many are going through many changes and all around the world sin is crazy! And sin will destroy them!

Let us keep our minds on the prize and mark of the high calling of God. AMEN Stop the gossip, complaining and the murmuring behind people's backs, and be real in Christ! AMEN

As a minister of God, I am responsible to love all people no matter what their background is, no matter what their past was.

My calling is to love people and encourage couples and families. It does not matter to me what they did, or their past sins.

As long as they are covered in the blood of Jesus today, that is all that matters.

I see the person who is standing in the Lord now! and winning lost souls for Jesus! AMEN

I said all this, to say that in marriage, we need to let the past go, and not allow relatives to mess up our marriages with their gossip. AMEN

Standing together in God is vital and not taking sides or getting into the gossip, will save your marriage and many problems.

Men, stand by your wife when these things happen! Ignore gossip and do not allow it to come between you and your spouse or in your house!

Never allow family members to interfere in your marriage, or put your spouse down!

Draw the line for them to stop. For your marriage sake.

For you are not with your parents anymore, and your obligation is to your spouse, whom you became ONE with and made vows with.

Same with the women and her family. She should never allow her family to interfere and to cause problems with her husband.

Families can say all kinds of horrible gossip and comments about the her husband.

She should set her boundaries with her family. AMEN

Her husband is part of her and if her family is putting him down, they are putting her down by putting him down! Did you get that? :)

They are ONE person in God's eyes. So we all have to think of this. And respect the marriages.

Just like the scripture says. LET NO MAN PUT ASSUNDER. Talking about the marriage. we should not speak against people's marriages. AMEN

We need to pray for people to get right with God in all countries. Reach and talk to them about salvation talk to them about  their sin, for sin is what destroys all our countries!

We leave it all to God to judge all on the Judgement Day! AMEN

What am I saying? As Christians, we need to stop talking against other Christians and pray for those who are not right with God, and win them back to the Lord!

To put down a person for things that are not your own business, is not of God.

And to say that just because a person has divorced, is really bad. Being divorced does not make a person a sinner, if they are innocent or were cheated on, and who am I to judge them?

Don't judge a divorced person. It's over and in their past. You are not God!

What about a person who murdered people and got saved? Do you hold that against them too?

What about Paul who was a murderer?

He killed many Christians, and God blinded him for 3 days, saved his soul, called him an apostle, used him as one who helped the Church.

He encouraged all the believers, and wrote many books in the New Testament of the Bible.

If God can do this for Paul, he can do this for anyone of us. So, we all have a past and the past does not matter now. It's gone so let us leave it there! AMEN

Pointing fingers is not our job as Christians. That is God's job.

Jesus said it this way, JUDGE NOT, AND YE SHALL NOT BE JUDGED. I said this in all capital letters for a reason. We need to really see this in the Church. AMEN

It's our responsibility to LOVE and ACCEPT people for who they are.

Jesus set this example for us. We should follow Jesus and do the same. Don't you think? I do!

Only God and couples who went through these things--knows what they went through, marriages and their divorce--and it's not other people's business.

Those who gossip about others like newspapers and media do, are acting like sinners. AMEN

This world thrives on evil like this! Why should we as children of God?

When is the Church going to put the gossip aside, and live for Jesus and be an example?

Or maybe the world has lost interest in being a Christian, or won't go to a Church, because of all the gossip and backstabbing that is done among the body of Christ!

This means that the Church could be guilty of being a stumbling block. OH GOD HELP THE BODY OF CHRIST! Help us all to be more loving and less judging in You GOD!

These are types of situations that tear marriages apart my friends...

Romans 14:10-13 10But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. 12So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. 13Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.


Lord help us all about being serious in our walk with God, and help us change our ways to be closer in YOUR love and care for others, as a body in Christ.

To respect human lives more, and not be so hurtful and mean. To be genuine. A light that shines in this dark world!

We all need love to reign! We need to see things in the eyes of Jesus. Not the past--but things in the present.

Stay in the Spirit, let love lead your way, and then you will see people get saved. No more hurting others. OK?

Folks we need revival. In our marriages too!

So, when couples get ready to get married, some have things that have happened to them, in their past, and God forgave their mistakes, and God helped them move on.

So, we have to be careful not to judge couples, and condemn people so much in the body of Christ. AMEN!

If Jesus can forgive their past, so can we!

We don't want to have to answer to God for affecting people in a negative way--with our attitude. AMEN

When we point fingers at others, there are three pointing back at ourselves.

None of us came to Christ righteous, we were all filthy in sin. AMEN

Therefore, Self-righteousness is bad to stand in--it's as filthy rags. For nobody is better than anyone else in the Body Of Christ. AMEN

When we stop comparing each others lives from ours, and stop thinking we are better, because we never went through divorce or any other problems. Then we will be on the right track!

We need to be more sensitive about not offending people and putting them down.

Lift each other up and love them truly!

We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This is why we must strive to have a righteous marriage.

Correcting our own sins, and self before God, so that those around us are ONE in Christ with us. AMEN

Just because you have to work out problems in your marriage, does not give either spouse the right to be unfaithful.

I speak directly to Christians when I say this... Pastors complain to me a lot about their wife, like they can throw her away for a new one! God forbid!  And they talk this way all the time!

If these husbands really cared about their wife, they will lay down their life for her. And love her and make sure to correct problems together. That is the right thing to do. AMEN

There has to be a time to work these things out peacefully.

If we pray about it and make things right in our own life, it will work out with your spouse too.

Sin works nothing out but a broken home AMEN.

Do not let the devil convince you that you will not be accountable.

You will be if you don't try to keep your marriage in God. You just can't throw it away like that, just because you are in a bad mood. Or things are not going YOUR WAY!

God wants men and women who are mature in Him enough to work out solutions to any problem that arises.

Men if you really take a positive to lead (as a loving husband), to be more sensitive to your wife when she unhappy--finding how you can help her. Then you would know how to lead her with encouragement and love. :)

Do not dismiss her, thinking she just has her own problem. Every problem you have in marriage affects both of you, and must be worked out together in Love.

Patience and understanding helps both of you...

Find the solutions and work together to solve the problems.

Be not only 'the leader' of your home. You should be the peacemaker too. AMEN.

This is expected of you by God. This show that love is reigning in your life as a Christian husband. AMEN

I admit, I pick on men more because they are chosen as the head of the wife and there is more responsibility in that. So I talk more to men to help them learn.

You are treading on ungodly ground if you are not part of the solution to problems in your marriage!

Men are tempted to go to someone else, if their wife is not being what he wants her to be.

And many times it's the man that is guilty for not being sensitive to talk to her. He gives up on her when she gets mad, instead of listening to her complaint like a leader should.

God didn't make us quitters AMEN

Find out the problem and try to solve it instead of blaming her if she gets mad. Find out what you are doing that makes her mad and stop it or change it! :) That simple!

Proverbs 6:29
So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

Psalm 5:12
For You, Lord, will bless the [uncompromisingly] righteous [him who is upright and in right standing with You]; as with a shield You will surround him with goodwill (pleasure and favor).

Now tell me, how can the love of God be in that man who calls himself a Christian and threatens his wife's life?

He should be making sure she is safe and secure not threatened right? Is this how  you think God wants you to lead? God Forbid!

Did Jesus threaten women? No way!

What man thinks they can go to heaven, if they hate their wife?

Why do some men think they have to play a role of being brutal, and that God would think that is righteous? This makes men look really bad...

Men, do not be a stumblingblock to your wife.

Men need to let-up on being so tough and hard, making life so difficult when they don't have to. Let your wife see the love of Christ in your life instead!

You are wasting your time hurting people.

Make things right with God and your wife! It takes repentance!

Women when you mistreat your husband you have to make that right with him too.

If spouses do not love each other, the relationship will crumble, and that will be on those who do not try to work it out. Quitters!

God is counting on the men to take their right stand in their families--in a Godly way. And the wife to do the same, In love.

For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect towards him.

If Jesus felt it was OK and right, then why would he stop men from stoning women?

Why would he say that if a man leaves his wife to marry another women he commits adultery?

Because he knows how men are, and pointed these things out.

He tried to show them this type of behavior was not acceptable.

You can't treat your wife like she is a gift he got from the store and gets old to trade her in for a new item. This is not how we are to treat our spouse.Yet it still goes on today.

We submit to God and to our spouse in love and we can always serve God and be right with him in that relationship. AMEN

God will NEVER appoint us to SIN!

Yes, many times people marry the wrong person and they are not even compatible and do not love each other.

I believe in some circumstances God forgives us for that too.

He allows us not to be accountable, if an unbeliever departs from us. AMEN so we are free after they leave the home. Yes, that is what the bible says! The scripture is very clear on this...

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

I love this scripture in Daniel that says:

Daniel 4:27
Therefore, O king, let my counsel be acceptable to you; break off your sins and show the reality of your repentance by righteousness (right standing with God and moral and spiritual rectitude and rightness in every area and relation) and liberate yourself from your iniquities by showing mercy and loving-kindness to the poor and oppressed, that [if the king will repent] there may possibly be a continuance and lengthening of your peace and tranquility and a healing of your error.

So you see, there is not a sin that can't be forgiven. AMEN

It's what we decide as far as forgiveness that matters.

Do you forgive those you judge? You should. .

And sometime you have to forgive yourself for judging in the first place AMEN

Forgiving yourself for your own past is very important too.

This can hinder your life if you can't put the past behind you.

Don't drag a corpse with you throughout life. Let it go and move on.

God cares and forgives you so you should forgive yourself too after you repent. AMEN

We all can examine our own lives and see where we stand in the Lord AMEN

We are only responsible for our own actions, and our own lives before God.

It's not up to others to run our lives, It's up to God.

This is the only way we can really have love in the marriage. When a couple can forgive and keep going and trying and keep that love alive.

Then they will be blessed of God. AMEN

Love must reign in a Christian Marriage!

So couples in God, I encourage you to both really live in the Love of the Lord as you confess, and seek the righteousness of God. Being bonded together in God's love.

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